G.r.e.a.t. Questions

"The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water,
​but a man of understanding will draw it out."
[Proverbs 20:5]

The single most encouraging thing that's said to me on a regular basis isn't usually intended to be encouraging at all. It's the statement: "That's a great question!" The person saying it most often does so as part of the evaluation process that any thought-provoking question elicits. The reason it's so encouraging is because it's a cue that I'm on the right track and we're getting beyond the surface and beginning to talk about things that really matter. But what makes a question "great"? I would suggest that it can be captured by the acronym: G.R.E.A.T. 

A great question, then, is a question that is:

• Genuine |We really care and desire to know the answer.
  
• Relational | We desire more than just an answer, however. The question should be a vehicle to get to know the person at a deeper level.
  
• Engaging | We need to ask about things the other person truly cares about.
  
• Answerable | We should ask questions that actually have answers...not just theoretical or hypothetical questions.
  
• Thought-Provoking | We ought to press beyond what can be given a simple, one or two word answer.
  

If you would like to ask more G.R.E.A.T. questions to the people in your life and don't know where to start, feel free to use some of the following suggestions as you grow to be a "man of understanding" by the grace of God!

WORSHIP

• What does “pursuit of God” usually look like for you? What would you like it to look like? What first step can you take toward that goal?
  
• Do you tend to “rest in Jesus” or “work for Jesus”? What does this say about your heart and what you’re truly believing about the gospel?
  
• When has God made His grace and love most powerfully clear in your life?
  

• In 90 seconds or less, what is the gospel? [Note: Listen for what’s missing or what’s unclear. This will prompt where you need to push into further discussion.]
  
• How have you seen the most growth in believing/obeying the gospel over the last year?
  
• What questions or doubts about God/Scripture have been bothering you lately? If you could ask God anything and get a clear, audible answer, what would it be?
  
• What has God been teaching you through His word and through His world?
  
• In life, do you feel like God’s priorities are your priorities?
  
• When you sin, do you usually run away from God (in guilt) or run to God (for grace)?
  
• What do you tend to choose above God that keeps you from experiencing the deep relationship with Him that you desire? Where do you need to repent? How can I help?
  
• Is there anything you believe God may be calling/leading you to that you’ve been ignoring/avoiding, either because of fear or pride?
  
• What do you believe is at stake when you sin: God’s delight in you or your delight in God? What does Scripture say?
  
• What is repentance? Is it rare or regular for you? Why do you think that is?
  
• What in your past (or in your life right now) makes it hardest to believe God loves/accepts/delights in you?
  

FAMILY

• What areas of life do you feel like you guys really just kill it as a couple? What areas do you see a lot of struggle in? [i.e. marriage, finances, communication, sex, criticalness toward others, pursuit of/delight in God, etc…]
  
• What have you learned about yourselves/each other most in leading GC? How do you work together in this setting?
  
• What is the hardest thing to consistently value just because the other one of you does?
  
• What's been more difficult for you: marriage or parenting? Why?
  
• [Wife], what's the most striking difference in who your husband is in public vs. who he is in private? What do you think would most surprise people about him "if they only knew"?
  
• [Husband], what do you wish more people understood about your wife? About you?
  
• What new thing have you learned about each other in the last year?
  
• What has dating looked like for you over the years with kids? How has that changed? Do you feel like you're in a good rhythm now?
  
• What are your shared interests? What do you most enjoy doing together? How do you build your friendship?
  
• What would you say are your kids greatest strengths? Corresponding weaknesses?
  
• How do you guys do family worship/Bible time? What's worked well and not worked well over the years?
  
• What would your kids say are the 3 most important things in your life?
  
• Is there any area where you think your spouse/kids struggle to trust you?
  
• [Husband], what kind of respect from [wife] would draw your heart out more and more in love for her? (see Ephesians 5:33)
  
• [Wife], what kind of love from [husband] would draw your heart out more and more in respect for him? (see Ephesians 5:33)
  
• Is there anything consistently that you know you should be asked about but nobody does?
  

 
COMMUNITY

• Who would you say are your closest friends in the church, both as a couple and as individuals? Who knows your junk and loves you anyway? Who offers you grace and calls you back to the gospel on a regular basis?
  
  
• Do you generally tend to pursue deep relationships within the church or are you more content to stay on the surface? What motivates that pursuit (or the lack thereof)? [Note: Listen for fear and pride as they discuss motivations. These always reflect deeper sin battles and open opportunities to lean into God’s grace together.]
  
• Are you better at serving others or being served by others? Why do you think that is?
  
• When’s the last time you felt like God was leading you to either repent of sin against someone in the church or confront sin in someone? How did you respond?
  
• Are you usually a conflict-avoider or a conflict-engager? Either way, how does the gospel challenge you?
  
• What comes to mind when you hear the word “discipleship?” At August Gate, our mission is to “be disciples who make disciples.” Are you better at being a disciple or making disciples? Why? Where do you see a need for growth in understanding/belief/obedience?
  
• Do you find it more difficult to need others or be needed by others? Why?
  
• In John 13:35, Jesus said: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Do you think we (as a church) and you (as an individual) are telling the truth about Jesus to a watching world in how we love each other? What can we celebrate? What do you think needs to change?
  
• What makes you feel most loved by other people? How do you think that’s informed by past experiences?
  
• As sinners living with sinners in a world broken by sin, the need for grace in our relationships should be obvious. Why do you think we’re so often surprised by our own sin (and others’) and respond in ways that are anything but gracious? What is the gospel disconnect when that happens?
  
• What excuse, if any, do you most often make for not pursuing community? Too much time? Too much effort? Not worth the investment? Not really needed? What is a Biblical response to these excuses?
  

 
MISSION

• What are your strongest relationships with those aren’t yet followers of Jesus? What have these relationships looked like in the past? What would you say has changed over the years in how you engage with non-believers?
  
• Do you see evangelism and discipleship as different things? How does the Great Commission speak to this?
  
• What excites you most about the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20)? What scares you?
  
• How have you seen God use you to share the truth and grace of Jesus with others? Are you encouraged or discouraged?
  
• If God already knows who He will save, why does it matter if we share the gospel?
  
• What have you found to be most effective in sharing Jesus with others in the past?
  
• Do you think of evangelism as a spiritual gift that only a few have? Or is it a command Jesus gives to everyone? How does your understanding influence your practice?
  
• Are you currently praying for God to save sinners BY NAME and asking God to use you to show and share the good news of Jesus with these people? If not, who do you think God is calling you to begin praying for?
  
• Are you currently pursuing real, deep relationships with those who don’t know Jesus? Are you loving and serving others so that you can tell them about the hope you have? If not, what barriers are keeping you from taking this step of faithful obedience?
  
• Are you currently preaching the gospel to people (rather than at people) and trusting God’s Spirit to bring new life through the bold, simple, clear proclamation of Jesus? If not, why not? What are you choosing instead?
  
• What do you feel like you lack most in this area: love for the lost or faith in the gospel?
  
• Who is someone you think does this really well that you could learn from?